I have enjoyed the Behind The Blogger writing prompts – it allows my readers to get a little glimpse into my personal life. It also helps me to vent a little. When I saw the writing prompt, “If Only I Had Listened”, many things came to mind, but one particular thing stuck out to me. I have had a rather rough life and probably been through more things than any other twenty-four year old has. Saying my life “sucks” is an understatement.
If Only I Had Listened, I would have never allowed a family member back into my life. Almost everything bad and horrible that has happened involves my father. A drug addict. Heroin to be precise. For many years, I stopped talking to him, as he treated me terrible, but then, I got a Facebook message from his girlfriend. I was around sixteen or seventeen when this happened. I will not go into anything about her or the message. What I will say though is that after many years, he came back into my life. If Only I Had Listened to what everyone was telling me, maybe I would not have been hurt and devastated again. When he came back into my life, I truly thought: okay, this is it, he finally grew up, he is ready to be a father, and he is finally clean. Boy was I wrong. Very, very wrong. While he may have been “clean”, he was far from ready to be a father and had not grown up one bit.
When everyone told me that I was making a mistake for allowing him to be involved in my life, I really should have run. He made my life a living hell. I started blowing off my friends, wanting to go over to their house constantly, did not have any interest in my own family and many other things. To be honest, my behavior was absolutely ridiculous during the few months that he was in my life again. If Only I Had Listened perhaps I would not have lost friends, would not have pissed my family off and would not have lost myself. It was scary how much I change each time he would come into my life.
If I was able to do it all over again, I would because it was so not worth it. All he did was hurt me. One time when I was at his house, he had the nerve to tell me that he “didn’t want the child that he had and certainly didn’t want the one his girlfriend was pregnant with”. Horrible to hear from a parent that he never wanted you and that he did not want the baby he was about to have with the women he was with. Actually, it is disgusting. Shortly after that night, I kicked him out of my life for the last and final time. I will never allow him back in. The next time I see him will be his funeral.
If Only I Had Listened… I could have saved myself a lot of heartbreak, time, and energy. From now on, I will start listening to what those have to say before I make life-altering decisions.
Thank you for reading a story from #BehindTheBlogger Hop. Every 2 weeks a group of bloggers is given a writing prompt. These prompts are very open ended, so our bloggers can write about whatever they desire. The main rule is that their blog post directly relates to the topic of that week. The point of this hop is for our readers to get to know us on a personal level.
Please hop along and read all of the blog posts in this weeks hop. Just click the links below. If you want real and raw emotion, then you will find it here. After you read each post, please comment and share. We want to get to know you too!